“ticket-waiting” period

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I am very excited to leave my life in the Philippines then suddenly I realized that I am forgetting to live in the present. All day and night I obsess about finally getting my ticket and escaping the life that I have here. While I feel so stressed because the waiting is becoming way too long than expected I am still trying to keep things in place. There were a couple of stuff that I am supposed to do during the “ticket-waiting” period. One of which is to be able to maintain a certain amount of distance from the people that I am addicted to.. my family and my friends to be exact. Papa, upon knowing that I’m set to leave has been extra sweet lately. He’s been getting all the opportunity to go home more frequently than usual. He’s been a really sweet father even before but it feels a little different these days. I’m sure I’ll be spending a couple of nights sobbing due to the tremendous need to talk to my parents, sisters and my relatives, a couple more nights missing the food that we eat, the places that we go to and the inside jokes that never fail to make everyone die of laughter. While I am here, while I am with them, I know I should spend my days having good conversations and making them feel important. It feels like I’m writing a suicide note ah..

Another set of people that I must try to give a breathing space is my barkada. I can say I have the coolest, most sundry set of friends that I can never imagine my life living without. I love the crazy, goofy anything-under-the-sun talks that we have whether over expensive coffee or just mentos/yosi. In that far land where I am going, I was warned that it is dangerous for me to go out on my free day. My mother was very worried upon hearing that. She was like “Kaya mo ba yon? Wala dun sila Wawa..”. I quickly reminded her that Wawa has been in the states for a couple of months already and assured her that I can do that. I was a monk in my past life. Chos. Though I will be missing the coolest people on earth, I know that they’ll be missing me just the same. I am sure of that. Some of them even have lesbian tendencies towards me. Haha. I am also sure that they’ll be the ones who will CALL me because they know that during the first couple of months I wouldn’t be having any internet access whatsoever.

Yesterday, the agency told me that I’ll have two weeks before I get the ticket but long before that, I have already made another important house rule. I shall never get involved. I’ve been single for the past 6 months. Thank God time flies that fast. I don’t even feel a single thing anymore.. well, with me, I couldn’t be sure but I have made such huge progress.. really. Shut up CJ try to save all these for another entry. So as I was saying.. in those six months I’ve met a couple of people.. but never really went out on a date. I just talked to them and consumed a number of sulitxt and unlitxt subscriptions. I was really proud that I was able to keep the flirt button off. I hope I continue on doing that. If I’ll be staying here for two weeks.. I’ll have two weeks of declining the invitation of this very patient and nice guy. I’m still not even sure if this week is cleared. Since I am positive that nothing works long distance.. I will never give it another shot. Ever.

Third rule is to eat as much baboy as possible. Muslim countries don’t serve pork so that means I’ll be missing pork for a good 24 months. With that said.. I’m going to eat now. I will eat pork until I hear myself sing this song.