i can't even..

This is nothing but a rant about most of the guys and their "bulok" style. I don’t know if I’ll hate them or feel bad for them because I think bad dating habits means that you haven’t dated much. Or you’re just plain douche. It’s one of the reasons why I’m not a fan of dating. Para kasing mukhang tanga lang eh. Like, a few hours ago I was talking to this guy.. I've known him from work. He’s on a higher position so we were just hi and hello basis so I was so surprised when he texted me and talked to me like we’re two normal people (normal as in.. well you know what I mean). So yeah, I think in his case it’s the lack of dating experience that makes him act like a jerk during our talk because he seemed really decent and nice before. Now.. I can’t be too sure. He asked where I was and then texted me these exact words “Kita tayo ng Monday after shift ko 6:30 sa *insert location here*. Ok.>. I was so surprised because this is the first time someone told me to meet up without even asking if I’m okay about it. My initial reply was something like asking him if he’s into networking and stuff because he sounded like one. He told me yadda yadda, we’ll just have coffee blah blah. I told him ‘No. I can’t. Just see me if you want when I meet up with my friends (from the same company)’. I was annoyed by the way he ordered me to meet up and also afraid that he could be a rapist or something. His style was just so, i-wanna-have-coffee-with-you-I-don’t-care-if-you-don’t-feel-the-same-but-you-have-to-come. I may have said a couple of things to annoy him back until he stopped texting me. That guy was a major freak *Bendita tone*.

I am not sure if it’s just me who’s not ready to date and get to know other people or it’s the guys that I’ve been meeting lately who are obsolete. I remember telling a friend that the guy he likes for me bores me and hearing him say “Ang bongga ng Sis ko, umaayaw kay *insert name here *!”. Honestly, I was also shocked that I said that but then, that’s how I really feel about the situation even if I really like the person. It’s harder to be single especially if you don’t want to be available. The last thing that I need right at this moment is a person who’d bug me about stuff like saying goodnight or having dinner or every crappy thing that goes with the early stage of dating/relationships. I don’t want to date. I don’t want small talk. I’m not really in the mood for all that crap. Well, I don’t know if it’s healthy but whatever. The thing is, if I don’t eat I’ll die. Same thing as if I don’t date, I’ll end up with cats and dogs. For me that is not really a problem, though I pictured myself being a parent and all that, I can really do without a partner. Or can I? God. I haven’t been out on a date-date with anyone since my last relationship ended and it has been what? Six freakin’ months! So what now? Should I give dating a try again or no? Crap. I don’t know what I’m saying anymore so bye.