on a sad note

Yesterday my family and I received the heartbreaking news that out Tita Teng in Sta. Clara is on her final hours. She started saying her goodbyes and all. According to her sister, she started having high fever the night before and is having difficulty of breathing until she was rushed to the ER. Her life at that moment depends on the oxygen connected to her and the immediate family was advised to say goodbye and make the necessary decision on when they’ll “pull the plug”. My mom upon hearing the news sat on one corner and cried. It was the most awkward situation that I’ve been into for the past couple of years and I didn't know what to do. She then went to her room and I don’t know what she did after that. A while ago I saw a photo of Tita in the hospital posted by my cousin. The shot was taken from afar but I can tell that she’s in so much pain right now. Things like will the body be sent here or will they cremate the body were asked but her sister bluntly told us that “Well, anong magagawa natin? Hindi sya maiuuwi dyan. Walang pera.”Her kids are with her but the husband is still in the Philippines and due to some stuff that I don’t want to talk about, he wasn’t able to be there during the last hours of his wife. Life sucks just like that.

I don’t know what happens to people abroad but there’s something about them that changes when they’re there. Oh well, maybe not all of them. But most of them seem to become.. blunt. Like when they are here they’re this supper sarap and spicy adobo then when they get there they become some tasteless pasta without sauce. I don’t even know how to explain it.

I’d really like to talk about my Tita while she’s here. They spent maybe 15 years or more waiting for their visa to get to the states. All of them were able to go except for her husband because of technical stuff. I don’t know but what I can really remember is that she’s the cool one. When I was like 7, she lets us play videogames at their house every freakin’ Saturday. And when I say play, it means play all day nonstop. She wouldn’t even clean the house because it will bother our playing. She feeds us and even buy new tapes for us to use. When she was younger, I remember my mom told me that she’s the most beautiful among Lola Taba’s kids. She had the most number of suitors back in the day. I don’t remember her teaching me profound stuff like most of older people that I know but she taught me the kikay know how's. She's the one who did my makeup on my pre-school graduation. I also remember after she came back from the states a couple of years ago when she told me that if I am a girl I should own at least one diamond. Since then I started to aim on buying a necklace with diamond/s in it and of course a diamond ring which will be given by my prince charming. I wish. I know we haven’t talked for ages but I know in my heart that her passing will make me sad.

Tita Teng, you will be missed. I’ll remember your uber loud laugh every time you hear a joke or make fun of our relatives. You don’t have to worry about anything. You brought up your kids with love and understanding and I know they’ll do good in life. Especially Elaine, I know I don’t know “know” her but I can tell that she’s smart and strong and you don’t have to worry about her. I know Erwin is responsible and he’ll be a good Kuya for your little girl. You should really be proud of them.