Last night, I saw a scene of Pandora and Thomas on Skins.. holding hands after something awful happened.. I cried. Not just little but lupasay cry. It felt like my world stopped.. I realized how much I want someone to hold my hand too.. to assure me that no matter how sucky things are, in the end it'll all be alright.. that I'll be alright.
Rewind to last week, someone actually did hold my hand. I was so nervous and this sweetheart gave my hand a squeeze, "you're so tensed, you have to relax..". I feel like crying picturing that moment right now. This person did not let go of my hand for like 3 or so minutes. It was so sweet and it was very difficult for me to keep my cool while it was currently happening. I remember biting my lower lip to stop myself from grinning. Though I still want to hold hands, my protective instinct kicked in and I stopped the moment by putting my hand somewhere else.. But nevertheless, it was so lovely (imagine Cassey saying it). It was. It still is. Whenever I remember it, I feel like I am in high school again. Sneaking out, holding hands, staring, talking, driving around.. Lovely.
Back to today, I think everyone, (no matter how much they deny) at some point of their life needs someone to hold hands with, to hug anytime, to say goodnight to before wrapping up the day.. I am not sure but I think I am at that point. The thing is that all the right people that could possibly do those things with me are on the other side of the world. If I am right that I need someone to cuddle with, I would definitely need him near. Someone who I can really hold, someone I can call anytime and could show up in 15 mins max if I have an emergency. I would need someone who won't tell me that the internet connection has a problem or he cannot reach my mobile. No. I don't need that.
Coming from someone as conceited as me, admitting that I need someone is huge. Like really big deal. Though I don't want to rush things and go over the top in telling the world what I think I need.. admitting it not to you or to anyone but to myself is fair enough.
So yes! I want someone to hold my hand..
No comments:
Post a Comment