World Spins Madly On

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

- The Weepies

It was another wasted day of my life, probably better that the past ones where I just sat and stared. Today is a bit special. I walked with heels. Talked a bit and then that was it. Though I exerted a bit effort, it ended up with the same scenario. No good news today I guess. Like every freaking day.

My toes were bleeding as I sat on the swing after waiting for some kids to let go of them. I looked at the trees branching over the playground trying to find the sun. It's not there. I can't seem to find it. "It's half past five" I mentally reminded myself "That's the reason why the sun's not there. Dumbass." I felt exhausted and wretched and looking above made me feel better. I talked to the sky and I asked him to hug me just because I need it so bad. But just like everything that I have ever needed, hoped for and wanted, I can not have it. A simple hug. The touch of a consoling soul on my slowly collapsing heart. And I can't have it. One can only take too much and I am near too much.

Nevertheless, the nothingness of the sky is tells me something, it's giving me something. It is close to hope but it's not exactly it. Hope will let you down one day and I am not a fan of that. When I heard The Weepies say "Woke up and wished that I was dead with an aching in my head, I lay motionless in bed", I closed my eyes. I let everything that's been stopping me exuviate from my whole being. It was just me, the music, the swing and the sky. And for a good two minutes in a long time, I felt good. Real good.

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on...